John Carter: Stay on your planet

There is something to be said for movies that seek to do something different, and take you to a different world. Though sci-fi movies aren’t my favorite I recently found myself being dragged to John Carter, Disney’s newest “inspirational” film. Based off a book, the plot was nothing special, a civil war vet is transported to Mars where he becomes a hero and adapts to the new surroundings. Of course there are fight scenes with weird creatures and, like any other Disney movie, he falls in love with the native princess. Overall it kind of screamed “adaptation of Avatar” which in itself was an adaptation of Fern Gully, or Pocohantas, depending on your generational preference. So why see this movie? I’m not really sure. 

Though I am a hard core Disney fan, I wouldn’t have minded missing this one. The acting was mediocre at best, the sets were somewhat boring and the costumes were weak. Leaving me thinking this world would be one worth remaining unvisited. Though it is supposed to be a planet that is near destruction, I still expected a level of creativity, color and wonder. After all, John Carter was still supposed to be drawn to it because of its contrast with the real world. The latter part of the plan was well executed; Virginia was dull and drab, with blacks and greys setting the overall tone for earth. But Mars (or Barsoom as they call it) was drab too, just with a stronger use of earth tones. The wonder just wasn’t there, leaving me unimpressed with the made up world. 

The most disappointing part, and where the movie truly failed, was the author’s disregard of John Carter’s new found strength. Though he used his ability to jump we barely see him fight without a weapon. It is pointed out at the beginning, and then disregarded, so why even say it in the first place?

Noteworthy: Though he was a bit frumpy looking, and reminded me of Flubber gone wrong, the little dog that is loyal to Carter throughout the movie adds some comic relief and is adorable. Everyone loves a good pet side kick after all.

The Descendants: A Different Kind of Paradise

This movie could not have been more perfectly named; it works on so many levels; the descendants of Hawaiian royalty descending into the depths of modern society. It was also perfectly placed. I loved that the characters had such a connection with a land known as a get away, but that, as this film proves, is really just like everywhere else…screwed up.  Had the movie been set anywhere else, the message would have been diluted.

For those of you who were fans of George Clooney playing the suave lady’s man, or the cool con, in the beautiful Italian suits and always winning the girl, you are missing out on something way better. He is a wonderful wreck. In a movie where everything seems to go wrong for a man who is lost, lovable, and well, normal, Clooney plays the border-line excellently. Matt King flirts between anger and sadness, father and “cheated” husband, strong head of a family and total confusion with very little grace, but you still love him. Clooney’s struggle was mostly internal, but also well portrayed to the audience without overdoing the dramatics. He just was.

The monologue at the beginning worried me a bit. I am not a huge fan of the main character talking to the audience, because, mostly, it ruins the illusion of watching reality. I understand the necessity for it, but I still wish there had been another way to do it. Once we got out of his head though and into the story it mostly stopped, which I am thankful for because it wasn’t needed.

The girls were good too, even though I am personally not a fan of Shailene Woodly in The Secret Life of an American Teenage, she proved that it may be just because The Secret Life sucks. I was pleasantly surprised by her portrayal of the screwed up teen, who really just loved her dad. She should ditch that sideshow and focus on film, she could be great one day.  

Noteworthy:

The ending. The main characters are just sitting on a couch watching a movie narrated by Morgan Freeman, eating ice cream, and nothing happens. You are waiting for someone to say or do something, or even for them to look at each other and smile, to signal closure, but no one does, because there is none. They are connected and disconnected. They made it to the end but it wasn’t easy and it won’t start to be easy. Genius.